Pre-Algebra and Algebra I

(and bad math jokes)

Teacher: What is 2

Student: 3000!

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?"

"Knot theory."

"Yeah, me neither."

How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog?

1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.

2. An inclined plane is a slope up.

3. A slow pup is a lazy dog.

Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?

A: Probably....

*k*+*k*?Student: 3000!

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?"

"Knot theory."

"Yeah, me neither."

How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog?

1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.

2. An inclined plane is a slope up.

3. A slow pup is a lazy dog.

Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?

A: Probably....

A new government 10 year survey that cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.

Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?

A: Because she was being irrational.

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Q: Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?

A: A physician makes an analysis of a complex illness whereas a statistician makes you ill with a complex analysis!

There were a physicist, a circus strong man, and a statistician marooned on a desert island. A box of canned food washes ashore, and the question is how to open the cans. The physicist suggests dropping them from the trees so that they break open. The strong man says that’s too messy. Instead, he will rip the cans open with his bare hands. The statistician says that’s still too messy, but he knows how to open the cans without making a mess. “First,” he says “assume we have a can opener.”

Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?

A: Because she was being irrational.

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Q: Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?

A: A physician makes an analysis of a complex illness whereas a statistician makes you ill with a complex analysis!

There were a physicist, a circus strong man, and a statistician marooned on a desert island. A box of canned food washes ashore, and the question is how to open the cans. The physicist suggests dropping them from the trees so that they break open. The strong man says that’s too messy. Instead, he will rip the cans open with his bare hands. The statistician says that’s still too messy, but he knows how to open the cans without making a mess. “First,” he says “assume we have a can opener.”